ahhh, the goop phase

Storytime with Kate

I felt so seen when a friend sent me an article a few years ago about how caterpillars turn into a goopy nutrient dense soup-like substance inside the chrysalis before they turn into a butterfly.

and maybe you've forgotten this from 7th grade science class like I absolutely had but the process is called metamorphosis.

From 27 till like, last week, I felt like that goop. I knew I was going through some kind of metamorphosis, shift, change. 

I could tell that old stuff was shedding but I hadn't quite figured out what was coming next. I couldn't quite picture who I was becoming. I did not feel like a butterfly... yet.

*and believe me... you can't rush this process, I tried. I've complained about this to my therapist many times. "WHEN am I going to get to be done with this?!"*

I hadn't thought about this nutrient dense soup analogy in quite some time but the other day I had this distinct feeling that one of my butterfly wings was sprouting as I canceled a gym membership to a place that I really didn't enjoy going to and I canceled plans with someone that makes me feel small without a shred of guilt or second-guessing. It was so cute :)

I posted about it on instagram. My dms blew up.

That same day, I took a little video of a caterpillar I saw while I was on a walk.

A day later, I posted that little video on instagram with a Chappel Roan song that I'm OBSESSED with right now called "Good Luck, Babe" and it's gone viral. Every time I open my phone I feel distinctly not alone. Also cute :)

So many people have resonated with this goopy phase.

All there is to do is sit in it. Get comfy in there. Do your self-study practices ((not in a way to get you out of there, just in a way to create consciousness amongst the goop *there were certainly moments for me when I thought I was drowning but nothing that a little presence poem or some connection with a friend couldn't help.*)) Dream of life as a butterfly. Imagine the possibilities. And let the metamorphosis just happen.

I promise it will, it is.

I'm pretty sure I'll go through that goop phase again at some point... I'm not sure when but I feels safe to assume that metamorphosis is something that, if we're lucky, we get to bear witness to our own evolution over and over within our lifetime.

What I hope for myself is that I'll be more kind to myself, stay more connected to my people, and be more patient with myself through the process.

Truthfully, in this moment I don't really feel like an adult butterfly... I kinda feel like a butterfly with training wheels. Or like Nemo with that one little flappy fin. Or like a puppy who's feet are too big for it's body.

Clumsy and curious with good instincts who's still learning how to channel them and put them to good use. Like I haven't quite learned how to glide the wind yet but I'm at least up in the air witnessing the few and far between adult butterflies who catch the light in their wings and bring the flowers to life along the way.

... really aware that crawling around on the ground and letting people step all over me is no longer the move. ever. under any circumstances.

If you're in that goop phase and you need somebody to talk to about it, call me. Let's set up a discovery call.

I'll tell you now, Self Study Coaching isn't designed to get you out of this phase, it's designed to get you conscience inside of this phase. To get you through.

I'm on your team. Ruby and I both are.

And as always, you're doing great you beautiful little wad of goop :)

xo,

k