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In Comes the Metaphor about Snails:

boundaries courage freedom newsletters transition vulnerability Dec 19, 2023

Storytime with Kate

Don't google snails... I know I didn't :)

I'm so glad it's my turn (again) to write the newsletter .

I was supposed to write to you last week but it didn't happen so I have another opportunity this week and I'm so glad I do!


I just got off the phone with a client and we came up with this weird little metaphor about snails. If you prefer a visual (and by visual, I mean FILM that I posted to instagram) here ya go.

She's going through a huge life transition. She's leaving her career of over 20 years, and she's wanting to build her own life that's not just orbiting work.

Today in our session, she showed up feeling overwhelmed, anxious, sad, guilty, angry, scared, worried, AND happy, grateful, relieved, hopeful, loving, and free.

She said, "I've known that I wanted to do this for 2 years but 2 years ago I was too scared."

I asked, "do you feel less scared now."

She said, "no. I guess I just feel more brave."


In comes the metaphor about snails:

I told her, and I'm telling you, I'm only like, 70% sure this is how snails work:

I told her that it feels like she's describing what it must be like for a snail once they outgrow their first little shell.

They currently have this place where they feel comfortable and safe... but they know they've started to outgrow it.

They begin leaving the shell.

They're part-way in, and part-way out.

The part that's out feels exposed, so vulnerable, scared to leave. Where tf am I going and how do I get there?! BUT and also, unable to stay where they are because they don't fit there any longer.

Then once they're fully out of their shell they have NOTHING to protect them from the elements.

*this is where we insert the 6th theme of the My Self Study Practice which is Boundaries.

Because now is when the other snail friends are like, "just come back over here! We'll help you get back in your shell and you can just live over here with us forever."

And other little animals are preying on this little exposed snail threatening to get their saltiness all over them! They say things like, "wow, must be nice to be so free. I could never!" or "Seems like she's going through some sort of mid-life crisis because she used to have this really awesome little shell but now she's just all over the place! Hope she gets some help."


And meanwhile, the capacity and resilience and strength of this little exposed and vulnerable snail... grows. Like how the heart of the Grinch grows three sizes when he starts to... feel.


And that little exposed shell-less snail needs YOUR care on it's journey into it's new bigger, more spacious home that has space for ALL parts of the snail.

It needs you to keep other people's saltiness about this new found freedom and purpose away or it'll shrivel right up.

It needs you to keep the spotlight off of it before it's ready to be seen on it's own terms.

It needs you to help it not drown, find good (and enough) nourishment, it'll need a LOT of rest.

And eventually on this snail's journey, it'll find a new shell that fits this version just right. Like, little red riding hood style.


Throughout your life, as you've grown, as you've evolved, and as you've transitioned, you've done this before. 

This time it might feel different though. The more you feel, the more you love, and the more you become who you are.


So if you're feeling like this little exposed mollusk, just know, you're doing great. What you're doing is incredibly brave, reckless even! GASP

But you can't go back into that shell where all of you doesn't fit anymore.

I promise you, hi, there are other snails out here doing what you're doing! You're not alone. There are other snails out here who have done what you've done and who are here to teach you how to set those boundaries that you'll need to get where you want to go! And there are other snails who will listen and love you along your journey.


Don't try to leave your snail starter home before you're ready because you're right on time. 

And when it is the time for your next journey, your next voyage, your next wayfaring adventure, let My Self Study Practice be your field guide.

It's not a short cut.

It's not a map.

It's not an "everything you need to know before you go" 3 minute youtube video.

Because everything that you'll need for this next step lives inside of you already.

The 9 Themes of the My Self Study Practice are here to offer you a way back in - back into this new version of you who you haven't met fully yet.


if you feel like an exposed little naked vulnerable shell-less snail, you're not doing a single thing wrong.

You're being honest.

You're being brave.

You're living on purpose.

You're believing in love.

And you're up to something bigger.

Ruby and I are immensely proud and in awe of you and what you're up to.

We're also grateful: because in all the years that we've been doing this work, we learn through those of you who join us on some or parts of this journey, that we're not alone either.

When you need an ear or a reminder that you're not alone, you know how to find us.


Keep going.

all the love in the world,


The Self Study Program is the first-of-it's-kind 9-month, comprehensive growth and empowerment curriculum to guide you into self-discovery,  authentic connection, and personal integrity.
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